Passing train woke me up from my uncomfortable nap and I find myself in a crowded compartment. I wanted to take a sip from my bottle, but it was empty. I will be thirsty and dry for sometime it seems. A sudden rush of urgency struck me as I imagined that I missed my stop. It was dismissed as quickly as it presented itself by the passing scenery.
I looked around and found my friends engrossed in a discussion . Mind you, most of the time these discussions are utterly useless and meant only for entertainment. But, this did not seem like it. Exams were scheduled a month from now and everyone sang the same tune of how desperate their situation was, how unprepared they were. There was a certain degree of truth to that, but I felt that everyone was exaggerating to some extent.
The predicament that my friends talked about, maybe spoke volumes of my own situation and how I might be in deep waters myself. I let my mind wander letting my future self shoulder the responsibility.
I looked around the crowded train and found everyone busy in their own bubble talking in groups like no one else existed around them or sitting by themselves and minding their own business. Few people who were standing had this capricious look on their face, trying to to hide their obvious desire.
I thought to myself how many of these people have their exams coming up ? Are any of these people on tight deadline as I was ? Are they happy tackling a big deadline which can decide their prospects for rest of the year or maybe for rest of their lives. My mind couldn't wander far off after all.
Engineering exams go on for over a month with couple of days between each subject. I thought to myself that I need to schedule my studying first thing after reaching home. The amount of work in front of me was overwhelming and if I have a plan in hand, which guarantees less suffering, then my situation might be salvageable.
This meticulous planning always drags me out of my comfort zone and puts me in a melancholic state. One might think why I feel sad about the whole ordeal, but truth be told, it’s my expectations and the prospect of my own failure to rise to it.
I got down at my stop with couple of my friends and rest of them will carry on their discussion for few more stops. As exams approach, we live and breath under immense pressure and pretend that things are going exceptionally well. This is what being an adult is I thought or even a pre-requisite.
I said my good-byes and started walking north towards the bridge. Something caught my attention, I saw few people gathered around. The conversation seemed so loud but they hardly spoke a word. I could tell they were having a friendly chat as some of them were smiling. They looked the same age as me and from their attire I assumed that they were returning from school.
I wonder, how did they learn sign language ? was it difficult to learn? I pitied them for a minute, but soon realized they do not care about their circumstances, they are doing just fine.
This group of people had enough strength to face the world when they lack one of the most crucial things. Do they even think that they are lacking something, to be frank they don’t know what they are missing and maybe that is the key.
Hardships are unavoidable in life and the only way out, is through them. We all inflate our egos in a way by exaggerating our situations and making it sound worse that it is. It does not have to be that monumental and life altering, after all these guys were just doing fine and I can definitely take a page from their book.
My anticipatory fear and worry, suddenly felt pale in comparison. I thought to myself that if these guys can stare at adversity with a smile, then surely I can give my best in a month’s time. In spite of all, it’s just another day in my life.